Since I’ve been in recovery I have witnessed many things I never believed possible, but the most miraculous thing I have experienced is true peace within myself. I stopped fighting and the war with my own thoughts has come to an end.
Desperation, exhaustion, escape, fear, God, and I am still not entirely sure brought me to The Healing Place at 10th and Market in January 2014. My drinking career started at 11, but my alcoholism started way before that. Raised by a loving family with good morals and ethics, I was taught that if you want anything in life you have to earn it, and that if you are ever in the position to help someone, do it. With the guidance of my parents and the gifts I was given from God I found there was not much I couldn’t do. Then I discovered alcohol. I spent the next 29 years trying to make myself feel as good as I did when I first started drinking and abusing drugs. This lead to high school expulsions, jails, prisons, treatment centers, therapists, and sticking a needle in my arm many times a day while drowning my problems with a half-gallon of cheap vodka then easing it off with some Xanax. I had ruined everything I love and put my family through hell. I destroyed everything I ever believed in and did not know why. I woke up every day and ended everyday asking God to end it. During one of my many self-detoxes, my mom came in and said that she spoke to someone on Facebook who said that I should look into a place in Louisville called The Healing Place. After another failed attempt by myself, I found my way there. While I was sitting in detox, I knew there was something special about this place. I felt like I was going to be okay.
Besides saving my life, The Healing Place gave me a place to sit still and listen. I learned what was wrong with me and how to work on me. I was introduced to a 12-Step program that, if worked honestly, can teach you more than I can ever explain. I now have a driver’s license after being told for 20 years that I would never get it back. I am a full-time college student after being expelled from two high schools 20 plus years ago. After being diagnosed with Hepatitis C 12 years ago, I no longer have any signs of it in my body. I have a job that I have never been late for in three years. My family no longer loses sleep because of me. They are no longer being dragged through hell because I no longer live there.
The most precious gift I have been given since coming to The Healing Place is the gift of serenity and the gift of true peace within myself. I wake up every morning and thank God for my life instead of asking Him to take it away.
I am no longer ashamed of who I am.